


Music Meme Fills From 2010

by tehsoupie (TheSoup)



Series: Cracked Verse [4]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: 2010 Fic, Alternate Universe - Crack, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Canon-typical Cursing, Community: rvb_slash, Crack, Crack Fic, Cringe, Down Down The Seventeenth Rabbit Hole, First Time, Inspired by Music, Light Angst, M/M, Nobody Talks About Their Feelings, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Rough Sex, Shower angst, Slash, Slurs, Vonnegut-esque, Written in 2010, ambiguous timeline, music meme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-20 07:55:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30001719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSoup/pseuds/tehsoupie
Summary: Five short fics involving the RvB boys angsting over life and love, and each other.  Cursing, a little bit of romance, one love scene (first time with a new body), and nonsense. Written to different length songs back in 2010.
Relationships: Agent Washington/Leonard L. Church | AI Program, Dick Simmons/Dexter Grif, Michael J. Caboose & Leonard L. Church
Series: Cracked Verse [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/21347





	Music Meme Fills From 2010

**Author's Note:**

> **AUTHOR'S NOTE AS OF 3/12/2021:** Originally written in 2010 as a writing experiment, these RvB snippets were terribly written to several songs and hastily edited afterwards. I'm not proud but I wanted to preserve the text as much as possible, saved here for posterity. These fics were written in a different time of my life. The humor here hasn't aged well, so please forgive me. The text remains as relic to my time in the RvB fandom, minus a few sentences deleted for clarity/flow. Also, I'm too embarrassed to post what songs I wrote these fics to, but imagines a cringe-flavored playlist from a decade ago and that will be enough. There used to be 10 fics. I had to delete the others because it was... just too much for anyone else to even read. Thank you for your time. Enjoy.

* * *

**01\. Simmons/Grif**

**\--**

Simmons cursed himself for thinking too much when he was alone. This time, his thoughts were considerably serious. He was thinking too hard about being alone, being in love, and being a soldier: that combination made life suck a lot harder than it needed to.

What was worse, Simmons was around the one he loved, and yet he never felt more alone standing next to him. Especially now, during a conversation like this.

“It sucks putting your life on the line,” Grif said. “Especially when nobody cares if you die.”

“That’s not true,” Simmons said. “I’d care if you died.”

“Yeah, only because that’d give Sarge a reason to promote you because he’d think you had something to do with it.”

“Actually, I was gonna tell you the reason for it, but you can probably guess.”

He wanted to tell him the truth about his feelings. Wanted to tell him that all these years by his side, it meant more to him then the very breaths he had moving through his lungs right at the moment.

Grif turned to him and regarded him with a strange look that Simmons could see behind the glare of the day star on his helmet. “…Do you love me or something?”

“Something like that.”

“’Cause- ‘cause if that’s true,” Grif said. “I might have something to say, too. Just to, uh, let you know.”

* * *

**02\. Wash/Church (PREQUEL TO "DOWN DOWN THE SEVENTEENTH RABBIT HOLE")**

**\--**

There was a first time for everything, and synthetic skin made everything _so_ much better than a regular metal body. Church could feel everything Wash was doing to him. Every kiss on his neck and shoulders, every caress across his package, every slicken finger massaging his hole, every movement of his tongue, hand, heart beat.

“Never done this kind of thing before,” Church said, his voice very low. “…Damn, masturbation just isn’t good enough when you’ve got somebody like you doing stuff like this.”

“Same here,” said Wash. “You like that?”

“…Fuck, you’re make me feel dirty when you want me to say something like that. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a whore.”

“It was just a question. I want to make sure you can actually feel it, seeing as you are mostly synthetic…”

“Shut up and do me, goddammit!”

* * *

**03\. Caboose & Church**

**\--**

With lasers and needler-bullets whizzing past, amid the explosions and screaming and almost-dying, Church crouched with the rest of Blue team behind a cluster of boulders.

“Goddammit,” he said. “I knew I should’ve joined the Navy…”

“The Navy doesn’t go in to space, Church,” Caboose said. “Then you would miss out on all the fun excitement of getting shot at by aliens!

“Exactly, Caboose. If I was in the Navy, I’d be busy getting shot by normal bullets. Hell, I might not even be shot at, seeing as the war’s not even on Earth.”

“Oh! Church, I wanna join the space Navy! You should too! Then we could go shoot space pirates with our space bullets!”

Church growled with resentment. “I hate my life…”

* * *

**04\. Simmons/Grif**

**\--**

He couldn’t decide what shower to take. Cold at first, turning it gradually to scorching and screaming hot like he would boiling a frog. That’s what he was. He was a boiling frog in the terrible situation that he found himself in.

Simmons leaned up against the gritty shower tiles, letting the steaming cascade pound rhythmically on his tender back muscles and bruises. The heat made him drowsy, the hotness of the water relaxing him and washing away his everyday-angst. 

Hot water to wash away his bad day, his bad relationship, and his terrible life. Make him clean again.

It wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

The water ran cold, and deciding to face Grif about their problems after not talking to each other for three days, Simmons stepped out into the night air, dripping wet and reborn.

* * *

**05\. Wash/Church (SEQUEL TO "DOWN DOIWN THE SEVENTEENTH RABBIT HOLE")**

**\--**

Confusing love, wrapped up in lies and hurt and possible sexual infections, was slowly mending between Church and Wash. There was no way to erase the past, no way to wipe away the ugly white marks on the chalk board. No hiding.

Church had admitted to being a dick, admitted to being a hurtful bastard. A lying bastard.

Wash wanted to believe him, but part of him told him that Church couldn’t be fully trusted, at least not so early nor easily.

Church wanted to make things better; Wash wanted that, too, but something kept fucking up. They weren’t sure whose fault it was, so Church took the blame. Took the pain of angry fucks, the bleeding and rawness of injured, broken love slowly rebuilding its splintered foundation from love affairs come and gone and back again.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> ;I own nothing but the words and situations I control.  
> These ficlets are hella old and reflect the time they were written.  
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
